Sep 21, 2008

No Guarantees

When we are struggling to make a decision about something important that will affect the course of our lives, wouldn't it be great to have a guarantee that everything will work out the way we hoped? I often wish that a deep voice would boom down from the heavens telling me exactly what I should do....the RIGHT thing to do. No such luck! The most I can count on to guide my decision-making is that "still small voice" inside me which insists, "Push the envelop. Go for the gusto. Reach for your dreams. Experiment with life. See what might happen." Sometimes I wish that little voice would shut up or I pretend I'm hard of hearing or otherwise occupied!

Making decisions is hard. Implementing them is sometimes harder. It upsets the apple cart. It ushers in change. When I hear people say that they "hate" change, I suspect what they mean is either they "hate" a change that THEY didn't choose, or that change scares them, makes them feel inadequate, or taxes their ability to cope. I don't hate change. I hate waiting to see how things will turn out once I make a decision. I'm impatient. I have to learn to take action and let go of the outcome.

So we should get a guarantee on the front end, right? No way. If everything turned out the way we hoped it would, we'd never learn anything new, never gain new skills and abilities, and never meet new challenges that will grow our confidence.

Yes, it's stressful to change, but change is a fact of life. We can either roll with life's punches, only reacting to what life throws our way - bobbing and weaving in an attempt to stay out of reach of real danger - or we can set our own course and respond to the winds of change by making calculated adjustments as we go. Do you react to life or respond to it?

Life is calling. What will your answer be? What are you being called to do or be in this life? In Greg Levoy's book, Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life, he says, "Our own unfolding requires that we be in constant dialogue with it." He goes on to discuss the importance of discernment, which he says is a path between these two questions: "What is right for me?" and "Where am I willilng to be led?"

Such ponderings may bring up questions of meaning. "What does my life mean? What do I want it to mean? Does life have any meaning?" The famed mythologist, Joseph Campbell said,"People say that what we are all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we are really seeking. I think what we are seeking is the experience of being alive...the rapture of being alive." Wow! If Emerson was right, that the mass of men lead lives of silent despair, then who among us has the courage to break out of that and seek the rapture of being alive? To do so we have to be willing to wake up to the state of our lives, assess where we want to go, figure out where our passions are and make the changes necessary to get there.

Passion? That ought to be fun. Well, not always. Passion is derived from the Latin word, passio, which means suffering. According to Levoy, the reason most of us don't pursue our dreams is because we instinctively know the price we'll have to pay to do so. Following one's passion could be like opening Pandora's box. It can release all sorts of trouble into your life. However, the last thing that is released into the world from Pandora's box is what we all need in life.....hope!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D. - Corporate Trainer and Motivational Speaker
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