No Guarantees

When we are struggling to make a decision about something important that will affect the course of our lives, wouldn't it be great to have a guarantee that everything will work out the way we hoped? I often wish that a deep voice would boom down from the heavens telling me exactly what I should do....the RIGHT thing to do. No such luck! The most I can count on to guide my decision-making is that "still small voice" inside me which insists, "Push the envelop. Go for the gusto. Reach for your dreams. Experiment with life. See what might happen." Sometimes I wish that little voice would shut up or I pretend I'm hard of hearing or otherwise occupied!

Making decisions is hard. Implementing them is sometimes harder. It upsets the apple cart. It ushers in change. When I hear people say that they "hate" change, I suspect what they mean is either they "hate" a change that THEY didn't choose, or that change scares them, makes them feel inadequate, or taxes their ability to cope. I don't hate change. I hate waiting to see how things will turn out once I make a decision. I'm impatient. I have to learn to take action and let go of the outcome.

So we should get a guarantee on the front end, right? No way. If everything turned out the way we hoped it would, we'd never learn anything new, never gain new skills and abilities, and never meet new challenges that will grow our confidence.

Yes, it's stressful to change, but change is a fact of life. We can either roll with life's punches, only reacting to what life throws our way - bobbing and weaving in an attempt to stay out of reach of real danger - or we can set our own course and respond to the winds of change by making calculated adjustments as we go. Do you react to life or respond to it?

Life is calling. What will your answer be? What are you being called to do or be in this life? In Greg Levoy's book, Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life, he says, "Our own unfolding requires that we be in constant dialogue with it." He goes on to discuss the importance of discernment, which he says is a path between these two questions: "What is right for me?" and "Where am I willilng to be led?"

Such ponderings may bring up questions of meaning. "What does my life mean? What do I want it to mean? Does life have any meaning?" The famed mythologist, Joseph Campbell said,"People say that what we are all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we are really seeking. I think what we are seeking is the experience of being alive...the rapture of being alive." Wow! If Emerson was right, that the mass of men lead lives of silent despair, then who among us has the courage to break out of that and seek the rapture of being alive? To do so we have to be willing to wake up to the state of our lives, assess where we want to go, figure out where our passions are and make the changes necessary to get there.

Passion? That ought to be fun. Well, not always. Passion is derived from the Latin word, passio, which means suffering. According to Levoy, the reason most of us don't pursue our dreams is because we instinctively know the price we'll have to pay to do so. Following one's passion could be like opening Pandora's box. It can release all sorts of trouble into your life. However, the last thing that is released into the world from Pandora's box is what we all need in life.....hope!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D. - Corporate Trainer and Motivational Speaker
EnterTraining Seminars: "We Learn You Good!"
Peak Performance, Stress in the Workplace, Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills
1-877-549-7681

Synchronicity and Purpose

It's funny how certain stories, songs and dreams stick with me over the years and continue to guide and inspire. One such story is from a book called "Tales of the Dervishes: Teaching Stories of the Sufi Masters Over the Past Thousand Years," by Idries Shah. (See Amazon.com link below.) The story is Fatima, the Spinner and the Tent, a tale of a woman who underwent many unplanned changes in her life, tragedies really, and yet went on to fulfill a historic destiny.

Fatima was the daughter of a prosperous spinner, whose father taught her his trade and took her on business trips in the hopes she'd find a wealthy husband. Tragedy struck when she was shipwrecked, during her travels and her father was killed. She was tossed ashore in Alexandria.

Fortunately, she was taken in by a family of cloth-makers, who also taught her their craft and treated her like one of their own. Unfortunately, one day while strolling by the seashore, she was kidnapped by some slave-traders, taken away and sold to another country.

Fortunately, she was purchased by a man looking for a handmaid for his wife. This man built ship's masts. When he hit a spell of bad luck, Fatima was enlisted to learn this new trade. Again, his business grew and prospered, so he sent Fatima to Java to sell his wares for a profit.

Guess what happened! Off the coast of China the ship sank in a typhoon. I underlined this sentence: "Once again she wept bitterly, for she felt like nothing in her life was working in accordance with expectations. Whenever things seemed to be going well, something came and destroyed all her hopes."

Well, what Fatima didn't know is that there was a legend in China that a woman, a stranger, would come who would make tents for the Emperor. One day the call went out through China to see if this woman had arrived. It just so happened that was the day Fatima had arrived.

So she was summoned before the Emperor and asked if she could make a tent. Since there was no rope, she had to spin some. Since there was no canvas, she had to weave some. Since there were no tent poles, she had to make some. Then wracking her brain for the memories of all the tents she's seen in her travels, she designed one.

When this wonder was revealed the Emperor gladly granted her any wish she wanted. She chose to remain in China and married a handsome prince, of course!

"It was through these adventures that Fatima realized that what appeared to be an unpleasant experience at the time, turned out to be an essential part of the making of her ultimate happiness."

Wow! I take heart from that.

What unexpected twists and turns in your life took you down the "road less traveled" and made all the difference?

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D. - Corporate Trainer and Motivational Speaker
EnterTraining Seminars: "We Learn You Good!"
Peak Performance, Stress in the Workplace, Conflict Resolution and Communication Skills
1-877-549-7681

Oh, here's the book containing the story and many other great teaching stories from the Sufis!