Stress Jujitsu

In the "soft" form of jujitsu, the objective in self-defense is going with the force of a blow instead of encountering it or resisting it. Instead of using extra energy to make contact and turn a blow away, the martial artist either steps aside or moves with the momentum of the blow, thus throwing the attacker off balance.

This could be applied to stressors too. Instead of mentally resisting or fighting stress, try giving it an unequivocal, "Yes! Yes, I acknowledge and accept this stress. Yes, I'm on board with it. Yes, I accept the adjustments and changes it's bringing into my life. Yes, I accept this new challenge coming into my life." If we cooperate with the stress, instead of resist or fight it, we will save energy and most likely reduce the intensity and duration of the stress.

There's a saying, "what we resist persists." If we give a YES to STRESS, perhaps it will run its course faster. Instead of feeling out of control and angry that we did not choose to bring this stress into our lives, we choose to work with its energy and momentum.

Honestly, has it ever helped make a stressor go away any faster by resisting it, complaining about it, and thinking how unfair it is that you have to deal with it? If a stressor is something outside your control, working with it, instead of against it, makes more sense.

For example, if you are stuck in an airport because your flight has been delayed or cancelled, ask yourself, “what would be a more productive use of this unexpected free time? Could you make phone calls? Write a letter? Read? Make notes for your next business meeting? Write up a proposal? Make a new friend? Meditate? Balance your checkbook?

Having a positive and flexible attitude toward unforeseen changes in plans turns them into adventures instead of stressors. "I wonder what will happen now that what I thought was going to happen has fallen through." You might be propelled by the momentum of the moment into something wonderful!

Another mental method of stress jujitsu would be to view everything about any situation as happening exactly as it should. Then it can feel like there's a flow and a purpose to the event and that you are not busy judging it or yourself because you've been surprised.

Instead of telling yourself, "I can't stand this" or "this isn't supposed to happen," which creates stress and denies the reality, change it to, "this is unpleasant, yet I can get through it" or "I don't like this very much and I accept that it is happening." Then, instead of being locked in a struggle of forces - of stress moving towards you and you exerting force against it - try giving it your cooperation and watch it move more quickly.

When was the first time you said YES to STRESS?

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D. - Corporate Trainer and Motivational Speaker
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