You Must Be Present to Win

Have you’ve ever noticed that depressed people dwell on the past and anxious people are worried about the future? If so, you’ll understand the profound wisdom written in small print on raffle tickets, “you must be present to win.”

First, living in the present moment gives you a quality of presence. To live in the present means to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future and focus on what’s going on right now. It’s letting go of the “if only’s” and the “what if’s” and concentration on the “what is.” Another way of saying the same thing is, “Be here now.”

People who have presence are calmer, more radiant, vital, happier, more approachable and attractive, in the sense that this quality draws you to them. They are in touch with and responsive to the realities of the moment. I notice that when I’m in the present all my senses are more alive and everything seems to be more vivid. It’s like I’ve fallen in love and everything is bright and shiny and full of hope.

Where does stress live in time? In the future, not the present. Where does regret and guilt live in time? In the past, not the present. What lives in the present? Peace.

Here’s an exercise to get into the moment. When a client is anxious or depressed, I’ll suggest they verbalize a litany of “Right now in this moment I notice….” statements to get them into the present. So, they might start out with, “Right now in this moment I notice I’m hungry.” “Right now in this moment I notice I’m sad.” “Right now in this moment I notice the room smells like lavender.” “Right now in this moment I notice my body is tense.” In the moment unpleasant emotions seem to shift towards neutral or pleasant.

A second reason why living in the moment is optimal is because the present is all there is. Life is a stream of present moments. About 10 years ago, while attending a 5 day silent meditation retreat, the clock on the wall in the meditation room was covered with paper. All that was printed on that paper was the word, “NOW.” I found that both humorous and true. When people ask me what time it is, I often answer, “Now.”

Finally, I believe it’s easier to make changes in your life if you let go of the stories you have about the way things “have always been and always will be,” in other words, when you live in the moment. What if you started off with a totally clean slate, as if the past didn’t matter or predict the future? What if the future was up to you and started out in the present? What if your future had more to do with your plans and intentions of the moment than about anything that happened to you in the past?

Where do you want to spend the rest of your life?

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D. - Corporate Trainer and Motivational Speaker
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